Author: Rabia Khokhar

And,

Yes,

That’s the last thing that flashed into my memory.

The last thing I saw before I dissolved into nothingness.

I lost myself in a daydream.

Do you remember that Ferris wheel?

Gleaming with red and yellow colourful lights against the dark canopy of the night?

The first and last time the carnival came to the streets of Baghdad.

Fireflies ignited lives.

…

To my unborn child,

Resting in the womb.

Precious:

They shot your daddy in the head.

Now,

Innocent blood will fill the streets.

Sweet mercy sing the midnight praises.

And you, my angel will cry.

I remember your rhythmic heartbeat; my ears heard your life.

I won’t get to see your face.

I won’t get to sing your praise.

I won’t get to hold you close.

I won’t get to explain your worth.

I won’t feel your small hands upon mine.

I won’t get to watch your fumbling steps.

I won’t get to hear your beautiful cry.

I won’t get to watch your face light up at the coming of a sunset.

Wont play peek-a-boo with you darling.

There won’t be sweet lullabies.

…

But I am certain, my angel you will cry.

I wish I could hold you close and dry those eyes.

You are a star light beaming so bright in this hell we call life.

Don’t ever lose your way.

Because you are an embankment of love.

The true essence of hope.

The reason I will live on.

Daddy will be with you, always.

…

The rivers are stained with the moons tears.

And the flowers are sad yet they feel it is their duty to blossom gallantly.

The leaves don’t rustle their silent tune.

The sun mourns; it’s defeated by dark rain clouds.

The earth mourns the loss of love.

I want to live, like the strings on a guitar that wants to be strung.

But there is no music.

There is no more air.

…

Don’t ever doubt that daddy didn’t love you.

Daddy was killed because hate is a cruel thing.

And it drives people to do crazy things.

Like killing innocent people who look a certain way.

My life existed only to be misinterpreted.

But please don’t erase my memory.

Can’t you see baby, my dreams are now etched on your palms.

Stay strong for daddy.

…

My angel, remember to look towards the sky sometimes and show me your blessed face.

Heaven knows I was right; you have your mother’s eyes and my hair.

I’m sorry, I was taken away.

If I had even a minute to spend it would be with you.

Stars twinkle, on the dark canvas of the night.

They say death is but a mere melody waiting to be sung.

They say our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch.

So remember me.

And hush now baby,

Sleep tight,

Listen to your mama,

Only God is by your side.

…

And,

Yes,

That’s the last thing that flashed into my memory.

The last thing I saw before I dissolved into nothingness.

I lost myself in a daydream.

It was the Ferris wheel, turning slowly.

Taking its time as if it was savoring every moment.

Every precious millisecond of life.

They say love saves all.

My angel:

You are loved.

Rest in the womb.

Let love stroke your life.

I love you.

I hope it echoes for eternity.